Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'm heartless 'cos my heart's alr smashed.

If we deny love that is given to us,
if we refuse to give love because we fear pain/loss,
then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.


You asked whether do i know how hard it was to win my heart? Like duh(!), yes i knew that. So whats your point? You knew it was hard and when you've won my heart, you break it that easy. I was soo in love with you when you manage to win my heart. But now(?), i'm speechless. I'm heartless. There's no sympathy in me for you. No matter how many tears you've shed, I'm still the way i am right now. My heart is already smashed, crushed and shattered that i felt like i don't have a heart anymore. Maybe that is the reason why i don't have any sympathy for you. I'm sorry.

We've known each other for more than 3 months and always thought that you were nice. Never thought you would even do the things that will break my heart. I kept things that have had happened between us to myself. I didn't even have the thought to share it to others on the spot. I thought i could handle it. But on the other hand, i didn't bother to share with others 'cause i don't need any sarcasm reply from any friend of mine ever again. 'Cause it make things worse and make me feel hurt even more. Talking about friends, i'll never forget what my friends have done. Place me aside even when i'm hurt so freaking badly. Place me aside just because they are out with their guy or friends. I admit it, i don't have alot of friends like those girls outside.

Didn't bother to tell my mother because i don't want her to be shocked of it and afraid that i might chosed the wrong ones. Sometimes, reading back at what i've typed on this post just got me to shed my tears off 'cause the first thing in mind was 'Who can i rely on? Talk to?', 2nd; 'Will they ever understand me? Understand what i truly feel?' 3rd; 'Hopefully, they're not like some of my friends that would give sarcasm comments..'

I think, i'll stop here. It hurts me deep inside.

Much Love, RizahDarling.